Scripture Matthew 5:21-26
Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder,’ and ‘whoever murders shall be subject to judgment.’ But I say to you all that if you are angry with a sister or brother, you will be liable to judgment, and if you call a sister or brother an idiot, you will be subject to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be subject to the hell of fire. Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and you remember that your sister or brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your sister or brother, and then come and offer your gift. Come to favorable terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way with them or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the court officer, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.
Sermon “On the Mountain”
Last week I watched in fascination and horror as road rage unfolded in front of me. It began with a harried mom, a nurse, on her way to her shift, whose car was blocked in by another. When she tried to squeeze into her seat, she lightly thumped the car that was crowding her, and the owner saw it and started to berate her. She thought the scrape could probably be rubbed away. He told her she needed to wait for the police to come, and began recording the incident on his phone. Rather than be late for her shift, she pulled out of the space and headed for work. The owner of the other car followed her.
Then began a game of cat and mouse on the highway, with the angry driver of the bumped car following the woman at high speed with inches between then, cutting her off then jamming on the breaks, and other highly dangerous maneuvers.
Suffice to say, it didn’t end well. And, don’t worry—it all happened on Hulu.
But it struck a chord. A few years ago, I was starting through a green light when a car sped by, running through the red light and missing me by a couple of feet. I was angry. I drove forward and turned to follow that car, and flashed my high beams, as a show of my unhappiness. I will never forget what happened next. The car in front of me screeched to a halt, and I almost slammed into them. I could see them regarding me in the rear-view mirror for a few long moments. Then they drove on. I made a left, turning into my own street. But before I did, I flashed the high beams once more. I was still angry. I drove home and had pulled into my driveway when I saw the driver I’d flashed zooming down my street, putting their car in park, getting out of the car, walking toward me, yelling threats, asking if I wanted a fight. I immediately put my hands in the air. I surrendered. I apologized. The person got into their car and drove away.
I was angry.
Jesus has words to say about anger this morning. His words take place during his Sermon on the Mount, three chapters in Matthew’s gospel whose impact has reached beyond the world of Christian devotion and worship. It has been cited by leading figures of social justice and civil rights, such as Martin Luther King and Mahatma Ghandi. It has been quoted by people as diverse as Matthew McConaughey, Harry Truman, Dietrich Boenhoeffer, and Kurt Vonnegut. It has been seen as a both a perfect summation of what the Christian life should look like, as well as the fulfillment of what the Ten Commandments tell us about ethics and living together in community. All in just three relatively short chapters.
Jesus begins with the commandment: “You have heard it said, You shall not murder.” This is something we can all agree on. It is not controversial. Then he moves onto examples that give us a start, make our eyes pop, and make us wonder. But I tell you, if you are angry with a brother or sister, or you call them an idiot, or you call them “you fool…” you will be subject to the same level of judgement.
There’s a lot of wisdom behind this line of reasoning, even if it ruffles our feathers. After all, Jesus seems to be taking us from the ultimate result of anger (murder) to its subtle origins (contempt? ridicule?)
Anger is all around us, from altercations with other drivers, to political disagreements that strain and even break friendships and families, to the role models we have in our leaders. All I have to do to is to pick up my phone first thing in the morning, and look at the headlines, and I can awaken anger in myself even before I am fully awake. I do not recommend this as a way to start the day.
Why are we so angry? Where does our anger come from? What can we do about it? Is there anything we can do?
The experts tell us, yes, there is something we can do about it, and the first thing they recommend may surprise you. We need to honor our anger. One expert writes,
Make space for anger by letting it speak. When we sense anger in ourselves or in others, we need to invite expression. Creating intentional times and places to listen to anger without judgment is really important. [1]
We sometimes think we can manage our anger by suppressing it, but that is neither wise nor healthy. It can lead to everything from clinical depression to reduced empathy to difficulty maintaining trust and working with others. [2] It can also lead to high blood pressure and heart disease. [3] Far better to acknowledge our anger and share it with someone we trust. Anger, like all emotions, is a message from our body. What message is your body sending you when you become angry? Your body is trying to care for you and protect you. How does this feeling serve that purpose?
The next step in honoring our anger is asking those questions. Where did this anger come from? One of the experts I consulted, Melody Stanford Martin, writes,
Honoring anger means investigating the things that are causing it. This means taking time to process and examine, to the best of our ability, the entire chain of events, beliefs, rules, policies, laws, and actions that the anger is responding to. [4]
Anger that arises from an incident on the road is not going to have the same cause as awakening to find our nation is at war. After my personal road rage incident, I talked about it for a long time with someone I trusted. I realized that my anger in that case sprang from fear. I experienced other drivers’ carelessness and aggression as a sign that they didn’t care whether or not their actions put my life in danger. I was afraid, and that’s what sparked anger that could have resulted in something much worse than someone running a red light. I’m happy to report that I experience others’ carelessness and aggression on the highway much differently now that I understand what it triggers in me. Now I’m able to take a deep breath and be grateful that I am fine, and all is well, and that driver is no longer anywhere near me (which is almost always the case).
Not all anger is that straightforward and simple. Sometimes we need to spend time and energy exploring the origins of anger that may have had multiple sources that came together. This is work best done with someone we trust, and something for which we must allow enough time. Healing our anger requires it.
The next step is to identify whether or not whatever incited the anger is something that can be changed. If it cannot, Ms. Martin writes, then we need to grieve it.
Grief is what our bodies do when we are forced to accept the unacceptable… It feels profoundly wrong not to have that person here, to lose that relationship or job we loved, to live in a country where social systems are breaking down. [5]
Grief is often what the writer calls “long anger,” anger that is more than a fleeting experience of fear or annoyance, anger that may well be with us for a while. This is painful, and there is no easy answer to it. Talking with a trusted friend, being a part of a grief group, reading about grief, and, of course, prayer, can help.
On the other hand, sometimes the things that make us angry stem from things that can be changed. This is where we find the use of the Sermon on the Mount among activists and those who advocate for civil rights, first amendment protections, and simple human love and compassion (which, truly, are the heart of the Sermon to begin with). Long anger can provide us with the energy we need to make a difference, organize for change, get out the vote, go to a city council or school board meeting, and otherwise do everything we can to bring about justice and the respectful treatment of all.
The Sermon on the Mount is one of the most beautiful portions of Matthew’s gospel. Jesus offers us a roadmap for living that reminds us we are not alone, and that all our neighbors are really our siblings, when it gets right down to it. It values peacemaking honest self-reflection and treating all of God’s children with the dignity due anyone made in God’s image.
Anger is a complicated emotion that is designed to protect us, but which can cause destruction if not met with a desire to understand it, and the willingness to take the time to do so. Jesus tells us that anger can put us on a dangerous and destructive path unless we meet it head on, and do everything we can, not to expel it, or chop it off, but meet it and know ourselves better. When we do that, we can truly live into the life to which Jesus invites us, the life of the beatitudes, which remind us of all the ways in which our challenges can turn out to be blessings. As Jesus reminds us,
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted…
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled…
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
~Matthew 5:4, 6, 9
Thanks be to God. Amen.
[1] Melody Stanford Martin, “4 Types of Anger Everyone Should Know About,” Psychology Today, September 19, 2021. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brave-talk/202109/4-types-anger-everyone-should-know-about.
[2] Bernard Golden, PhD, “Suppressed Anger Doesn’t Just Go Away,” Psychology Today, June 28, 2020. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-destructive-anger/202006/suppressed-anger-doesn-t-just-go-away.
[3] Katherine Cullen, MFA, LSCW, “Suppressing Emotions Can Harm You—Here’s What to Do Instead,” Psychology Today, December 23, 2022. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truth-about-exercise-addiction/202212/suppressing-emotions-can-harm-you-heres-what-to-do.
[4] Martin, op. cit.
[5] Martin, op. cit.