Scripture
Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if my brother or sister sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven (or seventy times seven) times.
“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him, and, as he could not pay, the lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him by the throat he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Sermon
This is a tough one.
“So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel. There’s no way around that. And sometimes, that’s hard. It can be one of the hardest things we ever do.
So, it’s fascinating, isn’t it, that we find our way into this part of Jesus’ teachings on life in faith community through a question, asked by Peter. Peter is asking a sincere question—from the heart. How many times do I have to forgive this one person who keeps hurting me? Seven is a good number. It is one of the Biblical numbers of completeness-the week that we observe, six days of creation followed by God resting on the seventh day. Six days of work followed by Sabbath. Forgive them seven times. Is that the right number, Lord?
Peter does not expect the number Jesus throws back at him. Not seven, Jesus says, but seventy-seven! And just to throw a little monkey wrench into the equation, that could be translated seventy-seven OR seventy TIMES seven. Four hundred and ninety!
Imagine Peter’s reaction. Does he, maybe, carry around with him a little slate and something to write with, so that he can keep track of his neighbor’s many acts of unkindness, harsh words, and cheating? Will he keep it up now that the number has skyrocketed?
Jesus’ point seems to be: If you’re keeping track, you’re doing it wrong. Don’t keep track.
This puts us in a tough position. What if the person who’s hurt us hasn’t shown any remorse? What if they are an abuser? And the hurt is bodily, not just emotional or spiritual? What if the hurt includes draining us of resources we need to live? How do we forgive?
Jesus offers a parable. A slave owes his master, the king, a lot of money. In terms of today’s figures, it is in the millions. And the king’s initial plan is to simply sell the man and his family and his possessions, and pocket the cash. But the man is on his knees before the king: Please, he says, have patience with me, and I will pay you back.
What will the king do? Will he give him a year to try to amass millions to try to repay this, frankly, un-repayable debt? I think this is one clue to what’s going on here. No matter what, it is an un-repayable debt. This slave will never, ever be able to find the ancient equivalent of millions of dollars, no matter what he promises.
In a shocking move, the king forgives the debt. It’s a beautiful moment of relief for this man and his family.
And forgiveness like that… well, ideally, it would change a person, wouldn’t it? It would give them an unforgettable sense of good fortune, and blessing, and evoke gratitude. Under normal circumstances, they would be on their knees giving thanks—to the king, to their God. And maybe paying it forward, forgiving the next person who owes them.
That’s not what happens. When the man who has been forgiven happens upon another slave who owes him, let’s say, the equivalent of about 4 months’ wages for a day-laborer— a tiny amount, by comparison—what does he do? He grabs the man by the neck. By the neck. And demands, Pay me what you owe me. This man says to the forgiven one, Please, be patient with me, and I will pay you back. Virtually the exact same words that caused the king to forgive his massive debt.
The forgiven man is having none of it. He has the other slave thrown into jail until he can repay the debt.
But the community is watching, the community of slaves of this king. And the community understands, immediately, the injustice here. This man was forgiven everything. But he is ungrateful. The “ungrateful slave” this parable is sometimes called. And the community reports to the king, and tells him everything. Accountability is important. That’s what last week’s passage was all about: going to the person who causes harm and calling them to account for it, seeking to restore the balance of right relationships. You could say, the slaves reporting back to the king was their way of seeking accountability—justice.
Now, the generous-hearted king, is enraged, and in his rage, relegates the ungrateful slave, not merely to prison, but to torture.
So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, Jesus says, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.
This is a tough one.
It’s easy to look at the ungrateful slave, and to say, obviously, he should have forgiven his fellow slave. It’s not so easy to look at, say, someone who has hurt your kid, or hurt your parents, or hurt your best friend, and forgive them. It’s not so easy to forgive someone who has caused you grievous harm—physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. Financially.
So, a few questions: Does forgiveness mean allowing the person to continue to hurt you?
No. It does not.
Does forgiveness mean keeping the person in your life as a friend? You have a choice in that. Giving the person an opportunity to do better. You might choose that. Of course, over time, your willingness to keep a connection going may wane if the person doesn’t seem to be trying to do better. You can decide what to do about that. You can forgive a person, and not have them in your life.
Does forgiveness mean feeling a certain way? Does your heart have to soften, in order to forgive someone? I don’t think it does. Jesus says, “Forgive from the heart,” and we tend to think that is about emotion, but, in scripture, and for Jesus, the heart is bigger than that. The heart is the seat of life and strength. Your heart is what makes you strong. According to Anne Lamotte, forgiveness means, letting go of the idea that you can change the past. Forgiveness means wishing the person no harm, and letting go of the idea that you will somehow be repaid for what you have suffered. Forgiveness means letting go of the hurt. Forgiveness means, letting go.
If the heart is the seat of life and strength, maybe forgiving from the heart means that, you see more life for yourself once you are able to forgive. Maybe it means you find more strength in forgiving than you do in holding on to the hurt you have suffered.
Let’s return to Peter, who set this entire conversation going. Imagine how Peter hears this. The overwhelming imperative to forgive! It is, and always will be, at the heart of faith community, that’s what Jesus is saying. Then, imagine what Peter thinks years later when he looks back on this conversation with the memories of Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection. Peter, who denied Jesus three times as Jesus stood on trial for his life. Peter, who wasn’t at the cross with the women, with Jesus’ mother, but who went into hiding. Is it possible that the “torture” comes when we know we have done something unforgiveable, and have to live with that knowledge? And that we are set free from that torture by the one who gives us second chances, and third chances, and 491st chances? Peter looks back on hearing this parable—and probably uses it in his preaching—with the full knowledge of what it is to be forgiven—and that makes all the difference.[i]
In the 1973 film, “Godspell,” Jesus’ disciples are a cast of characters who have taken to heart his instructions to be like children. They perform a skit of this parable. At the end, when Jesus mentions torture, the pantomime all sorts of horror film terrors to punish the ungrateful servant. But then Jesus, with a twinkle in his eyes, says, “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
What do we make of that? Instead of an angry man filled with wrath (as we can imagine the king) in that moment, Jesus looks to me more like someone who has used words for shock value—very effectively—and who is now ready to wrap his listeners up with reassurance, and grace, and love.
The very next thing that happens in the film is the song, Day by Day.
Day by day, day by day.
O dear Lord, three things I pray.
To see thee more clearly
Love thee more dearly
Follow thee more nearly, day by day.
This is the journey of disciples. This is the path of those of us who want to walk in the way of Jesus. We learn forgiveness, just as we learn to see God more clearly, to love God more dearly, and to follow God more nearly. Day by day.
Thanks be to God. Amen.
[i] With thanks to Rev. Greg Karlsgodt, and his September 15, 2023 daily devotional for Luther Seminary.